


The Finish Line

by welpslytherin



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Episode: s07e11 Happily Ever After, M/M, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23943079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welpslytherin/pseuds/welpslytherin
Summary: What went through Mickey's head during the border scene.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	The Finish Line

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, Ian and Mickey. I've been immersed in this ship for the past week like you wouldn't believe. I pulled all-nighters binging the entire show. This ficlet takes place at the Mexican border when Ian let Mickey go and when I tell you this episode had me clutching my heart like gahhh. I live for the angst in this scene and here's my take on it. 
> 
> This is my official [Gallavich playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0RugTxBFqUEadt4t8exdqi?si=ngNbsmQhQZy-H4Xjq995pQ)!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“I can’t.”

I shake my head because he can’t be doing this to me right now.

“Don’t do this.” My voice shakes like Terry's fingers when he yells at me to go fetch another pack.

“I love you.”

“Then get in the fucking car.” I’m yelling because my eyes are prickling with tears. I can’t do this again. Not when I’ve just started to envision our happily ever after, however tacky that may sound. I deserve that, at least.

“It’s not—this isn’t me anymore.”

 _No_ , it is. This is us. You are all I want. I fucking _love_ you.

“I’m sorry.”

I scoff, and that’s what I do, don’t I? Scoff away my feelings like it’s no fucking deal, but it _is_. He’s the biggest deal of my life and I love him and he’s leaving me and I can’t believe this happening. “So that’s it, huh?”

Those eyes. Those goddamn eyes. They threaten to engulf me in their tide, dark green pools swimming with so much emotion it makes my head spin. And I wonder if my eyes wear the same level of intensity right now.

He reaches for me and I pull away because I can’t right now. My heart feels hollow, carved out. Shattered by a sledgehammer. Blood pounds in my head and my pulse leaps at the chance to kiss him again, the betraying motherfucker. At this point, I shouldn’t still be swirling with butterflies whenever he leans in but they do. My heart thunders whenever he’s with me, like it’s trying to break its way out and get to him. It did the same thing when I kissed him for the first time, right before we raided the old faggot's house, I can still hear the adrenaline thrumming through my veins. It did when I forced myself to carried out that fucking wedding with the Russian whore, I watched him from the other side of the room as he drank himself stupid. I felt him alive under my skin when I let myself drown in the sensation of his lips against mine for the first time, at that bar where he worked, with the fluorescent lights dancing and the throng of gays gyrating around us. That feeling overwhelms me now, amalgamated with the pain of the knowledge that I’m about to lose him.

Because he’s fucking beautiful.

He’s beautiful and he’d leaving me all his money. Tossing the pack onto the dash of the car and fishing out his jacket and bag. Walks to me slowly, deliberately, watching me with catlike eyes laden with passion. He’s beautiful and he’s staring at my mouth like a parched man at a bottle of water stranded on a desert. And I would _kill_ to have him look at me that way for the rest of my life. He’s beautiful and he has his backpack swung over one shoulder. My eyes skitter from the way he clings to the strap to how his shirt hugs his torso. I can feel him trying to catch my eye and I find myself giving in to the sheer _want_ and my heart hurts because _he won’t come with me_. He’s fucking beautiful and I need him like I need air. And I can’t go back to missing him again.

I kiss him and he tastes like that delicious gulp of air you take after you’ve been under the water too long.

He kisses me back and I try to lick the _good-bye_ off his lips.

Ian Gallagher.

He’s in me, we both know that, sometimes literally, and you’d think the other dozen times would prepare me for him leaving me _again_ but they didn’t. It _hurts_ and he snakes his arm around my waist the way he always does and I love him and I can’t imagine a future without the redheaded bipolar boy I fell for.

I part my lips and curl my tongue around his, before swiping it across the seam of his bottom lip. He pulls me flush against him from shoulder to hip, in one long line down our bodies, and I slot into the space between his arms perfectly. And I _need_ to get closer to him, even though this is as close as it gets, and I let out a low growl because I can’t fucking breathe knowing that he will be out there with someone else, kissing them like he’s kissing me, with his tongue down their throat and his hands on their ass. Because it _kills_ me to know that he will be fucking them, the long length of his cock buried in their tight asshole as they greedily beg for more. Because it will be _their_ neck he nibbles and sucks on and _their_ back he presses against that I hold on to this man longer than I intend to. It hurts like motherfucker because he’s looking at me like I hung the moon and I fucking hate myself right now because why did I have to go to prison?

My lips still tingle when we finally pull away, his hand warm against my face. “Fuck you, Gallagher,” I spit because yeah, fuck him, and I make my way back to the car after a fucking pat to his cheek. I don’t look back.

When I cross the border— _alone_ —I say his name to stop myself from swerving. Going back.

I say the name that occupied my tongue all those nights in that damp musty cell. I say the name of the man etched with swirling black ink on my chest. My voice cracks and I say the name of the man who let me go. The name of the man who owns my heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
